Jurassic Park (1993)

MUST WATCH Who hasn't seen this masterpiece? The best dinosaur film of all time in my book no sequel or prequel can better it, the effects are so perfect they still look great, and Steven Spielberg is the king of making blockbuster stories mean something. The cast are superb in their roles and forever etched in my mind, instantly quotable and a joy to behold, this is just a joy. A rare case of being better than the book this tale of a Dinosaur Theme Park running amok is cinematic splendor. What more can i say other than make your kids watch this before the renewed Jurassic World, which in comparison has a no guts story.


Like This Watch These: The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) Not as good but still enjoyable, Jurassic Park III (2001) Not great but some new dinos, Jurassic World (2015) An ok reboot just not the same magic as the original and best.

Morgan (2016)

A promising beginning, great opening scene, sadly turns into an obvious take on the created humanoid fable. I was looking forward to this but it was all given to you on a plate, there are no surprises here, no tension building, nothing. Wooden acting from most of the cast and just no real intrigue. Keep expectations very low and you might just enjoy this mediocre wannabe sci-fi thriller.


Better Than This: Ex Machina (2014) So so good, inspired a few average copies, The Machine (2013) Not fantastic but better than this, The Lazarus Effect (2015) They try to bring people back from the dead, not a good idea.

Zero Charisma (2013)

A story of grown men who enjoy playing fantasy board games goes the predictable route and portrays them all as depressed losers and then a cool nerd joins them and he is a dick. This could have been way funnier but it just made me feel a bit sad, considering that geek culture is more popular now than it ever has been, this film makes it seem miserable. This is more for people who want to laugh at people who have different interests rather than laugh with them at the outside world.


Better than this: Fanboys (2009) Celebrates geekdom, Dungeons & Dragons (1983-85) (TV) I was obsessed with this as a child, WarGames (1983) Some kids manage to hack into the military's computer system.

5 Films Not to Watch on an Aeroplane

1. Alive (1993) Based on the true story of a Rugby team whose plane crashes and they eventually turn to Cannibalism.
2. Flight (2012) An amazing plane crash but all are saved by a pissed pilot.
3. Final Destination (2000) A teens premonition comes true and many classmates die when the plane explodes but the survivors are still in trouble.
4. Snakes on a Plane (2006) Guess what happens, you will see them everywhere.
5. Flightplan (2005) Jodie Foster misplaces her child on board and no one remembers her.

Pete's Dragon (2016)

Not quite the same story as the original, as far as i can remember, but that doesn't really matter i only really wanted to see the Dragon, and he is lovely, very cuddly. Very twee and a bit sickly this is a tale of family and friendship and dickhead people thinking they own things went they don't. The acting is fine, no aggravating kids, the splendid Grandad Robert Redford, kind hearted souls and vengful hunters. They could have sprinkled some jokes in amongst the schmaltz but alas no. Watch with soe kiddies if they want to and enjoy the huggable beast.



Like This Watch These: Pete's Dragon (1977) Cute and silly probably not for modern children, The BFG (2016) Funnier with great effects and cast, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) Amazing and lovable creatures with a strong storyline.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016)

Another tale of how difficult life is when you are a teenager, but this one has good humour, good actors and amazingly not the Stevie nicks song of the same name. Haliee Steinfeld manages to portray a selfish teen without being too annoying and Woody Harrelson is the teacher that everybody should have. Easy and fun to watch especially when you are way past the pain of adolescence but can still remember how difficult is to think you are the only person feeling this way and how no one understands.


Like This Watch These: The Breakfast Club (1985) An absolute classic where 5 very different high school students find they have some similarities, The Diary of a Teenage Girl (2015) A wannabe artist teen starts shagging her Mum's boyfriend, Heathers (1988) Let's kill the cool girls, darkly funny.

Get Out (2017)

My advice would be to watch this film without knowing anything about it, so maybe stop reading as i think there may be SPOILERS. A young black man (Psychoville's Tealeaf) goes to meet his white girlfriends family at their estate, things seem fine until odd things occur and the young man may be in danger. This is unnerving from the beginning but why? what's going on?, you will ask yourself through the whole film. Excellent acting all round from the creepy parents, annoying brother and the peculiar staff everyone is great. One of the best things about this movie is that when things get perilous the lead doesn't hesitate to take down whatever is in his way, unlike many horrors when things that aren't tied up come back to haunt the protagonist, not the case here. This film is thrilling and makes you think a superb debut from director Jordan Peele, keep it up sir.



Like This Watch These: You're Next (2011) Brilliant a female lead who kicks proper arse when attacked whilst staying with her boyfriend's family, The Guest (2014) A family welcomes a friend of their dead son into the house but should they, The Invitation (2015) A man goes to a dinner party thrown by his ex-wife and her new husband, what do the have in store for their guests.

5 Films to celebrate World Poetry Day

1. Bright Star (2009) Sad but beautiful telling of the last years of John Keats, made me enjoy poetry.
2. Il Postino: The Postman (1994) Resplendent beauty, an Italian postmen falls in love with poetry and a local lady.
3. Howl (2010) Allen Ginsberg's famous poem is animated and his obscenity trial dramatised.
4. Barfly (1987) The exploits of Charles Bukowski played by a fit Mickey Rourke.
5. Before Night Falls (2000) The life of Cuban poet Reinaldo Arenas, some excellent actors appear.

Mascots (2015)

Christopher Guest does seem to make the same movie over and over again, with the same actors, but they are always funny to he can be forgiven. This is not his strongest by far but it is light and amusing and smarter than a lot of American comedies. Looking at the world of competitive mascots ( i have no idea if this is a real thing) and people taking themselves and their work far too seriously. Some additional actors, and English ones this time round along with standards, Parker Posey is a highlight as you would expect. These films often get better the more you re-watch as there is so much squeezed in to it you find little treasures you missed before.


Like This Watch These: Best In Show (2000) An American Crufts, hilarious, Waiting For Guffman (1996) An amateur dramatics society get over excited when they hear a Broadway veteran will be attending, This Is Spinal Tap (1984) Hilarious music mockumentary, Mr. Guest stars.

24 Hour Party People (2002)

One of Steve Coogan's best performances is of the irritating poser Tony Wilson in this account of Factory Records, The Hacienda and the eventual downfall of both. Perfect for anyone who likes music and a laugh, amusing and interesting you really get swept away with the Madchester scene. Even if you weren't around then or don't particularly like that music there is something in here for all, it's a who's who's of British cinema and they have picked some of the best. Did i mention it's really comical and witty? It is. Very. Nostalgic in a great way it reminds you of how important that time in pop culture was and how music is always changing and how necessary that is.


Like This Watch These: Control (2007) A more serious study of Joy Division's Ian Curtis, stunningly shot, High Fidelity (2000) A fun ode to music by an obvious fan, who doesn't love a top 5 list?, This Is Spinal Tap (1984) Music and laughter it doesn't get closer than this.

The Final Girls (2015)

Not your usual slasher flick, genuinely funny characters who know films and don't do the obvious which makes a nice change. Full of references for horror aficionados  and some inventive deaths. An excellent cast of recognizable young comedy actors immediately put you at ease and you follow them easily into the quite odd premise. A teen recovering from the death of her actress mother gets pulled into her most famous movie 'Camp Bloodbath', once reunited the pair along with friends and the 80's cast try to track down the killer. Self-aware, fun and perfect to watch at camp.


Like This Watch These: Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015) Funny and meta, Tye Sheridan saves his town, Scream (1996) Satirical horror, funny and creepy, Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) Sweet hillbillies get mistaken for psycho killers, amusing and clever.

5 Films for the First Day of Spring

1. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring (2003) (Subs) A deep exploration of a life.
2. Seasons (2015) (Subs) (Doc) Majestic and poetic, slow and beautiful if you like nature.
3. Spring Breakers (2012) Four American girls celebrate the holiday not exactly in style, but some of it looks fun.
4. Watership Down (1978) Brave and brilliant Bunnies, heart breaking soundtrack though.
5.Meet Me In St. Louis (1944) Covers all seasons and is joyous.

Witness (1985)

MUST WATCH They don't make 'em like this anymore, an intelligent and individual crime drama with non sickening romance. Skillfully crafted by Peter Weir who builds tension and thrills amid daily Amish life with some subtle flirting. An Amish youngster (lovely Lucas Haas) witnesses a murder so a cop (heroic and handsome Harrison Ford) goes undercover in the community to protect him until the trial. It has everything, humour, gorgeous scenery the list is endless all films should be made in it's image. I saw this first as an early teen and i am equally fond of it now if not more.



Like This Watch These: Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975) Haunting and mysterious, some girls go missing during a summer picnic, The Mosquito Coast (1986) An inventor moves his family to Central America, sublime, Mute Witness (1995) A mute woman sees a murder in the film studio she is locked in.

The Dyatlov Pass Incident (2013)

Boo Hiss, this was recommended to me by a usually trusted source, i trust them no longer. Based on the fascinating true life tale of 9 hikers who all died mysteriously and from unexplained injuries whilst trekking in Russia in 1959. Many theories have been discussed, a Yeti, military experiments, Aliens and Avalanches, truly captivating right. Until Renny Harlin gets his hands on it and butchers it it to within an inch of it's life. Using found footage he tells the tale of some irritating, idiot American students making a documentary about the famed incident, they are unprepared for the nonsense they find. It has a little bit of promise and just gets steadily worse, they even roll out another alleged incident called The Philadelphia experiment. Don't bother with this tripe buy a book about it instead.


Better Than This: The Blair Witch Project (1999) Still on of the better found footage films out there, Trollhunter (2010) (Subs) Excellent Nordic fantasy about massive Trolls, The Sacrement (2013) A journalist goes to visit his sister who lives with a cult, but are they all happy really?

This reminded me of the trees in the early 90's animation Ferngully, taken in Cozumel, Mexico.

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

MUST WATCH You can spot a Wes Anderson film a mile away, i adore them all but i think this is my favourite. The bright visual splendor that is the director's trademark brings this cinematic treat to life.  An unconventional family reunites with their estranged Father, but it is so much more than that. Each actor embodies their character and their individual foibles with aplomb, the star power is huge but not distracting. Everybody has family issues from small or emormous to weird and wonderful and this movie reminds us of that and that we must laugh or we will cry, Would i go so far to say it's a work of genius, yes i would.


Like This Watch These: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) Possibly my next fave and one of Bill Murray's best roles ever, The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) Another star filled joy from Mr. Anderson, Hotel Chevalier (2007) A wonderful short works as a prologue to The Darjeeling Limited, with my Mum's favourite song beautifully used.

The Overnight (2015)

Funny and unexpected, this is a comedy about being an adult for adults. A couple moves to L.A. and try to make new friends via their kid, the first couple they meet seem great fun but is that all. Constantly surprising and unlike anything else, it could be a play. The cast really make it,  Jason Schwartzman is himself fabulous and stands out as always, but they are all really good and go together well as partners. It's like a well focused drama with wit and fun, it shows people as they are and how they try to be.


Like This Watch These: Creep (2014) An earlier excellent effort from the same director, again not what you think, Date Night (2010) Nowhere near as clever but silly and fun, Rushmore (1998) Schwartzman's terrific early turn as an very enthusiastic schoolboy.

Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Glorious, sumptuous and downright lovely, this gave me the exact same feeling as when i first watched and fell in love with the original at 9 years old. Excellent casting, Gaston and Lefou are bloody perfect, Belle's voice is not the best but no matter and the Beast is funny and great, although he is a bit too CGI for me, and all the living objects are wonderful. The castle is jaw droppingly opulent and beautiful, i want that library. There are some new tunes and some slight changes in the story that make it no better or worse. This is just how i had hoped, my face hurt half way through as i had been constantly grinning with glee (and miming to all the songs), i smiled, laughed and cried just as i do at the animation. An affectionate and worthwhile retelling, if you love the 1991 version this will only cement and rekindle your feelings.


Like This Watch These: Beauty and the Beast (1991) This is a definitive part of my childhood as it should be for all, Cinderella (2015) One of the first Disney stories retold in live action, watch for the magical movement of the dress alone, The Jungle Book (2016) Surprising and wonderful, superb effects.

The Conversation (1974)

Not one for the paranoid of you out there, this will only give you ideas and send you a little mad, just like the protagonist in this film. Gene Hackman plays the surveillance expert who gets a little caught up in his latest case suspecting a young couple will be harmed, he is superb in this, channelling a more serious Ron Swanson from Parks & Rec and shades of his later character in Enemy of the State. The fear and obsession throughout the film is indisputable and easy to get caught up in via the sophisticated direction of Francis Ford Coppola. A 70's classic with a tremendous end scene that i can't watch to often or i might do the same.


Like This Watch These: Enemy of the State (1998) A very good paranoid thriller obviously influenced by this, Sneakers (1992) I loved this as a kid, still do though it looks very dated now, Blow Out (1981) The accidental recording of a murder puts John Travolta in the line of fire.

Crimson Peak (2015)

Gloriously gothic horror from the genius that is Guillermo Del Toro who always makes sumptuous and delicious looking films - I'm a fan. An intelligent young woman marries a desirable English aristocrat after the sudden death of her father and moves to his grand mansion in Northumberland which is full of secrets, ghosts and his creepy sister. This is a visual treat and the acting is top notch, Hiddleston turns up the charm to 11 but Chastain occasionally drops her accent which is a personal bugbear of mine. The story is not the strongest but the imagery is so strong that i just get wrapped up in it, the gore and violence is decadent and frightful but brilliant too.


Like This Watch These: Sleepy Hollow (1999) The sillier side of gothic horror and fantasy, Pan's Labyrinth (2006) (Subs) Superb fantasy story of a little girl trying to save her mum, A Field in England (2013) Black & White beauty during the  English civil war following some deserters, fantastic.

Loving (2016)

Interesting drama about a couple who were instrumental in changing laws about interracial marriage and childbearing. People like Richard and Mildred Loving should be celebrated as they helped change the world by pushing boundaries and challenging ridiculous 1950's American laws. Effectively portrayed by both actors this is not a tour de force of emotion and court battles but a very low key acceptance of their life until set free. It feels more realistic because of this as i'm sure when altering laws and facing the supreme court it is a slow and steady battle. You need to have a genuine interest in the story to fully enjoy this true life accomplishment.


Like This Way Watch These: The Accused (1988) Horrific true life gang rape brave Jodie Foster takes it to court, wonderfully acted, Erin Brockovich (2000) A single mum brings down a power company polluting water, A Time To Kill (1996) Some very powerful courtroom scenes in this John Grisham adaptation of a man accused of killing the monsters who raped his 10 yr old daughter.

100 Feet (2008)

What a terrible waste of time. An abused wife can take no more and kills her horrible husband, though there is no showing of this, the film begins with the wife returning from prison with an electronic tag, the dead husband then proceeds to haunt (and still beat) her. Possibly some of the worst special effects witnessed on film, it makes it all seem laughable. It could have been a dark twisted horror but is a damp squib.


Better Than This: Sleeping With the Enemy (1991) A young Julia Roberts tries to escape her very controlling husband, What Lies Beneath (2000) A ghost is haunting a woman but her husband doesn't believe her, Disturbia (2007) A teen under house arrest thinks his neighbour is up to something.

5 Terrible Remakes

1. Pyscho (1998) A shot-for-shot remake, why? you cannot improve on perfection Van Sant.
2.Fright Night (2011) Even with three actors i love this is horrific in every way.
3. The Ladykillers (2004) Retell a classic English tale with Americans, silly Coens.
4. Poltergeist (2015) Again you can't make it better even with modern effects.
5. A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) You can't recreate the 80's feeling of scary and funny.

Theeb (2014) (Subs)

An engrossing and impressive story of a young Bedouin boy coming of age whilst guiding a British Officer through the Desert. Emotional and touching, the actors, especially Jacir Eid as the young boy, make you feel this film. Stunning cinematography guides the viewer as Theeb leads the Officer, with some desolating scenes the anguish is more palpable in this barren land. Simple writing and directing that is really powerful. Don't let the subtitles put you off this is great.


Like This Watch These: Mustang (2015) (Subs) 5 sisters scandalously talk to some boys they are put under house arrest and married off, This is England (2006) A young boy befriends a group of skinheads in 1980's England, The 400 Blows (1959) (Subs) A young French boy ignored by all around him turns to petty crime, beautiful.

Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (2016)

A fond and loving tribute to two hollywood icons who just happened to be mother and daughter. As a huge Star Wars fan Carrie Fisher made a big impression on me when i was young, as a princess who could still fight, and as i grew up her fantastic books and openness about her difficulties with drink, drugs and mental health issues made me love her all the more. This film details honestly the struggles they both went through and how their relationship survived and eventually strengthened. The pairs passing just before this was released makes it more poignant and moving, careful and kind direction saves this from being saccharine though i sobbed throughout.


Like This Watch These: Postcards From the Edge (1990) Carrie's friend Meryl Streep portrays her in this adaptation of one of her books, Drop Dead Fred (1991) Carrie plays the best friend to Phoebe Cates and holds her own among some very funny characters, Singin' in the Rain (1952) Debbie's star maker loses nothing, still fun and jolly.

The Bronze (2015)

Foul mouthed and funny this sports comedy doesn't hold back and nor does the lead character Hope, played by The Big Bang Theory's Bernadette who i will never look at the same. If you are easily offended stay away, a mean spirited ex olympian has to train an up and coming star in her hometown in order to receive a huge sum of money. Generally rude to everyone but really horrible to her dad, the sublime Gary Cole, Hope's progress into a better person is predictable but not sickly and she stays sweary. A very funny sex scene and good supporting cast this is amusing and vulgar and worth a watch.


Like This Watch These: DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story (2004) A broader and more hilarious sports comedy, Goon (2011) A bouncer starts to play ice hockey because he can really take a beating, The Ringer (2005) Rigging the special olympics may be a step too far for some but there are some funny moments.

I Am Not A Serial Killer (2016)

Not what i was expecting but a nice offbeat thriller that is slow to start and the pay off is worth it. A small town teen with a taste for the dark side discovers the identity of a local serial killer who is not quite what they seem. Lovely to see Christopher Lloyd in this subtle supernatural indie also surrounded by a quality cast, though not the most well rounded of characters a little more history would be nice. The effects are so good i would have enjoyed increased screen time but then less is more, a fact many filmmakers forget. A suitably muted little gem.


Like This Watch These: Monsters (2010) An excellently crafted monster movie, Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) A man seeks a companion to time travel with him, M (1931) The hunt for a child killer, outstanding.

The Thin Red Line (1998)

Amongst a sea of very famous faces here lies an affecting, enchanting story of an apathetic soldier battling his feelings about the war. Though moving and beautiful in parts it doesn't scrimp on the action, there are some powerful and emotional battle scenes. This films exhibits the splendour of the earth and the careless destruction of it. The music of the Pacific Islands is like no other, gloriously haunting and life affirming, when i visited i thought about this film a lot and hearing the prepossessing sound i was overcome. A complex war film unlike any other, gracefully directed by the king of symbolism Terrence Malick.


Like This Watch These: Badlands (1973) Malick's breakout hit a more subtle Natural Born Killers, mesmerising, Paths of Glory (1957) Kubrickian masterpiece about the futility of war, The Longest Day (1962) The events of D-Day re-told by a multitude of stars.

Sing (2016)

What an utter joy. Lovingly crafted characters band together to save a theatre by having a singing competition. The animation is bright, beautiful and realistic enough to believe in these humanoid animals. The song choices are also great they vary from modern, classic and original and are all sung fantastically. Wonderful voices aid the predictable story (it matters not) and very well formed whimsical creatures. I really enjoyed every minute, even welling up at one point, if you have children use them as an excuse and go see this film.


Like This Watch These: Zootopia (2016) Crime solving animals, The Secret Life of Pets (2016) Very funny and silly, i hope pets are really like this, The Jungle Book (1967) One of the best animal animations also with great songs.

Fanboys (2009)

This is my geek heaven, it is definitely not master filmmaking, but it is a group of Star Wars fans taking a road trip to Skywalker Ranch, so what's not to like. If you don't like sci-fi or specifically Star Wars, first what is wrong with you? secondly step away from this movie it is not for you, it is for us, the faithful. With comedies like The Big Bang Theory geekdom has now become something cool or at least something to be celebrated, it wasn't always this way. This is a nice throwback to before the world embraced our universe of fantasy, jedi's and comic books, and before we had seen the prequel's (sob). Funny, cliched and littered with references sit back and revel in your fandom, and if you are not a fanboy you are not invited.


Like This Watch These: All Star Wars (1977-?) Although i assume you will have already devoured everything, Spaceballs (1987) Funny and silly Star Wars spoof, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) Comic book/ computer game cool.

Guess The Quote

An easy one
 " I carried a Watermelon"
What film?

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

Very disappointing, as a fan of the original (it's no Citizen Kane but it was fun and had aliens and explosions) this left me annoyed. There is no humour here at all, no characters to care about and exact copies of certain scenes from the first. I have never seen such blatant cloning of characters, army buddies, group of teens, everyone being part of a couple at the end. They seemed to take everything that worked from the first one remove the humour add even more cheese and make them do the same. The end message is frankly offensive, "what we need in the world right now is more war and death", well done Roland Emmerich i assume you will be enlisting, Prick.


Better Than This: Independence Day (1996) Funny, exciting and the effects still look good, never watch the shit sequel, Mars Attacks (1996) Star filled amusement and cool looking Aliens, War of the Worlds (2005) Not great but better than this nonsense.

30 Days of Night (2007)

MUST WATCH One of the best Vampire movies ever made, it is immediately chilling and eerie then builds up to genuinely scary and devoid of all hope. An Alaskan town gets plunged into darkness for a month so a conniving group of  Vamps take the opportunity to chow down. Outstanding direction from David Slade, it manages to be violent and gory as well as haunting and aesthetic, the pictured shot is phenomenal. The cast react to the horrific situations like real people, no witty retorts or miraculous fight skills just fear and the will to survive, which gives the whole film authenticity. Innovative, mesmerising, gloriously gory and soaked in blood, Twilight this ain't.


Like This Watch These: 28 Days Later (2002) Speedy Zombies get gory too, Byzantium (2012) A different take on two lady vampires, Blade (1998) Half human half vamp poor Wesley Snipes doesn't know where he stands.

5 Irish Crackers For St. Patrick's Day

1. The Commitments (1991) - Riotous laughter and brilliant music.
2. Calvary (2014) - Poignant, moving and funny.
3. In The Name of the Father (1993) A true story of false imprisonment, excellently portrayed.
4. The Wind That Shakes the Barley (2006) - Two brothers fighting against the British in 20's Ireland.
5. Sing Street (2016) - 1980's Irish teens form a band to get a girl.

Ghostbusters (2016)

I had no problems when i heard about this reboot, at least they were going to freshen it up with a gender swap, it would have been horrific to try with men as there are none that could possibly fill the boots of the originals. Leslie Jones stands out as the wittiest and the chemistry between the gang having worked together before on SNL. Where this falls down however is the plot and villain, it should have focused on the banding together of the team with a simpler story, it just tries to squeeze to much in and it gets sloppy. Some fantastic cameos lift it but the Chris Hemsworth character is fit yet annoying. The outpouring of technical jargon from Kate McKinnon's Holtzman could have been turned into a joke instead it just loses the audience. It is fun and enjoyable it's just a bit too try hard.


Like This Watch These: Ghostbusters 1 & 2 (1984/9) Unbeatable originals still superb, Bridesmaids (2011) McCarthy and Wiig very funny breakout comedy, Pitch Perfect (2012) Funny ladies singing.

Hanna (2011)

MUST WATCH This is pretty damn perfect in my view, i love it when an action film can be beautifully filmed, have some heart and not hold back with fight sequences. It could be very difficult to believe the story of a sixteen year old assassin but Saoirse Ronan is such a colossal talent that at no point do you doubt her. Using a variety of stunning settings, wonderful actors and beautifully choreographed assaults this is a visual joy. Apparently quite a few people feel the plot is too ropey i was surprised by this as i can be a bit of a pedant but had no issue here i was enthralled from the get go. Maybe all i need is a great soundtrack, excellent technical direction, action sequences that wow and first-rate performances to enjoy an action film that isn't your usual American bollocks.


Like This Watch These: Stockholm, Pennsylvania (2015) Another exemplary performance from Miss Ronan as a kidnap victim with some memorable scenes, Atonement (2007) Same director and star and gorgeous visuals, Drive (2011) A very stylised sumptuous crime flick.

Hoot (2006)

I only watched this disney-ish TV movie as i think Burrowing Owls are cute, as is Luke Wilson who stars as a bumbling cop, look out also fora young Brie Larson. Three caring teens try to stop construction on protected land to save the Owls. It's fine is the biggest compliment i can give cheesy and very american and the ending could have happened about 15 minutes in if someone had just made a phone call or looked on the internet. If you have kids that love nature or you yourself do don't expect too much on show here. An easily ignored nice sunday afternoon flick.


Better Than This: The Big Year (2011) Amusing and sweet bird spotters, 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Genuinely funny teens retell The Taming of the Shrew, Holes (2003) A superb and obscure tale of teens at a detention camp.

Black Mountain Poets (2015)

If Alice Lowe is in it i will watch it, she never disappoints, this may not be her funniest role but hers is the best character amongst these sensitive poets. This pleasing, kooky comedy gently explores relationships and love, two sisters on the run assume the identities of a pair of famous poets and join a retreat in Wales. The picturesque scenery is dulled by the weather which feels apt for the story and the U.K. The cast are all good and the two leads raise the standard, it begins stronger than it ends with the comedy ebbing away as a love story is focused on. Don't let the 'poets' of the title put you off there is not a lot of prose and some is bright and comical.


Like This Watch These: Wish You Were Here (1987) Funny and matter-of-fact Emily Lloyd delights in this early Brit-com, Sightseers (2012) Alice Lowe wows in this hilariously dark camping comedy, Withnail & I (1987) One of the best British films ever, hysterical, moving and memorable.

For another viewpoint look here:http://www.film-news.co.uk/review/UK/1789/Cinema/Black-Mountain-Poets

Please Don't Eat The Daises (1960)

Doris Day i love you and this is my favourite in your vast filmography and it's got David Niven too, surely the epitome of an English Gentleman. Their family (4 mischievous sons and a massive dog) move from Manhattan to the country, but Dad Larry still spends most of his time critiquing Theatre in New York. This is my joy, it's cheesy but wonderful it looks gorgeous, the clothes, the sets and the actors all of it, it is silly, fun and happy not my usual kind of film. Convincing as a couple these two bicker and laugh in equal measure showing the ups and downs of marriage, kids and life in general. The theme song is my most beloved earworm.


Like This Watch These: A Matter of Life and Death (1946) The glorious Mr. Niven excels in this Powell and Pressburger classic, The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) Paired with James Stewart this couple stumble upon an assassination plot, That Touch of Mink (1962) Doris and Cary Grant get together via some missteps.

Elle (2016) (Subs)

A successful and fiercely independent woman gets raped in her home and tries to find her attacker, expertly depicted by a coldly poised Isabelle Huppert i cannot see anyone else doing this role justice. This is a more mature and measured Paul Verhoeven film than any i have seen before. The attack itself is brutal and overly replayed but the resulting story is intriguing and fascinating. Elle's reaction to the assault is perhaps controversial and not standard, this delves deeper and is thought provoking on many levels.


Like this Watch These: Nocturnal Animals (2016) The reaction of a Husband to his Wife and Daughters attack, Funny Games (1997) (Subs) Sadistic teens terrorise a family on holiday watch with caution, The Piano Teacher (2001) (Subs) Huppert plays a masochistic teacher, not for everyone.

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

Not being a fan of remakes i gave this a go as it has good actors and an interesting director and it was fine, ultimately pointless but ok. The gathering of the seven takes up more of the film and builds to the end battle which is quite exciting. I would have much prefered it if they had written an original western with Denzel (who is terrific) as the lead, as opposed to rehashing a great film and certainly not improving it. The Magnificent Seven (1960) is a remake itself of the Japanese Seven Samurai (1954) but it made a huge change from 16th century Samurai to Western Cowboys and that's why it is successful, it kept the essence of the story but made a different film. Sadly this is the same film directed differently.


Like This Watch These: The Magnificent Seven (1960) Not even Chris Pratt can outcool Steve McQueen, Seven Samurai (1954) (Subs)If you can handle 3 and a half hours of Japanese swordplay it's beautiful, Bone Tomahawk (2015) A superb modern western.

Boy (2010)

Taika Waititi is my current talent crush, he seems to have the magic touch with both performing, writing and directing. He seems to capture the essence of real life, the crushing sorrow of loss and the elation found in laughing with your friends.  This little gem is funny, sad and an obvious gateway to the tremendous Hunt for the Wilderpeople. Set on the coast of New Zealand in the 80's a young Michael Jackson fan reunites with his hopeless criminal father, who is made much more appealing by Mr. Waititi's portrayal. The young cast are impeccable and delightful, it feels like they all had a ball making it. I am so very excited about all his future projects.

Like This Watch These: Black Sheep (2006) Murderous Sheep with the New Zealand wit, Big Fish (2003)  A magical story of Father and Son, Anything involving Taika Waititi.

The Survivalist (2015)

Having a huge fondness for post-apocalyptic visions this was unlikely to go wrong for me, and it far exceeded my expectations. An intelligent drama that expects the same from its audience, it builds very quietly and slowly, some say too much, but it needs to to get you in the headspace of living totally alone in the woods for obviously quite a while. I won't give anything away as it is such a pleasure to watch unfold only that a man lives alone in the forest when two women arrive seeking help. Not for everyone but if your cinematically brave watch alone and in the dark and afterwards plant some veg but don't tell anyone.


Like This Watch These: The Road (2009) Pretty dark and a bit depressing adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's book, Cast Away (2000) Tom Hanks solitary performance is superb, Walkabout (1971) This terrified me as a child, two young siblings stranded in the Australian outback.

Keeping Up With The Joneses (2016)

Sadly no one in this film is particularly likeable or funny in this spies in the suburbs wannabe comedy, Isla Fisher was the best and i am not normally a fan. I do have high standards when it comes to what makes me laugh but i barely smiled during this pretty boring, very predictable disappointment. I had looked forward to this a strong cast, proven director even the action did nothing for me and i love a good explosion, Don't bother.


Better Than This: Spy (2015) Actually funny spy comedy, Mr. & Mrs Smith (2005) A better suburban couple, True Lies (1994) This Arnie starrer is truly funnier than The Joneses.

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

Creepy, atmospheric and a tad gruesome, this is a lovely underplayed chiller. A father and son, both pathologists are trying to identify the cause of death in a young women, they make some odd discoveries as they realise they may not be alone. No gimmicks here just a classy solid story performed and filmed with subtle flair, great use of light and not too much is shown which is good as sometimes it's not the best make-up. Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch are convincing, authentic and compelling to watch. Maybe not one to watch if you are training to work in a Morgue.


Like This Watch These: Trollhunter (2010) (Subs) Director Andre Ovredal's breakthrough is marvellous, Don't Breathe (2016) Bumbling burglars take on a blind man, Halloween (1978) An all time classic.

What We Do In The Shadows (2014)

MUST WATCH Any comedy fan will surely adore this film, one of the best mockumentaries ever! A house share for vampires is all you need to know, they are frequently hilarious and lovable. They have house meetings, go clubbing after struggling to choose what to wear (no mirrors), and make new friends. This was hugely improvised and you can tell the actors are having a great time without coming out of character. Nemesis gang the werewolves are equally brilliant with Rhys Darby as the leader, i hope rumours of a follow up focusing on them are true. I can't recommend this enough it is comedic brilliance of the highest order. Treat yourself and watch it, you will not regret it.


Like This Watch These: Hunt For The Wilderpeople (2016) Co-director Waititi's latest gem, Flight of the Conchords (2007/9) (TV) Funny songs and behaviour, great, Eagle vs Shark (2007) Oddball love story.

The Core (2003)

 A promising beginning soon turns into a disappointing second half. Some scientists have to burrow through the Earth to its core to set off a nuclear device and get it spinning again. I love a disaster movie the peril, the heroes but this really didn't work for me, it is like a very poor episode of Dr Who, which i love. The effects are terrible i assumed it was made in the early 90's but no, i understand it was low budget but it just makes all the science seem unbelievable and silly. Some irritating characters don't help and an ambling script, it's a shame as they were some bright ideas.


Like This Watch These: Deep Impact (1998) One of my favourite end of the world films, The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Much better effects, Armageddon (1998) Silly and very cheesy but funny too.

The Nice Guys (2016)

One of the best things about this film is seeing both male leads playing characters most unlike their usual roles, and very well too, Gosling and Crowe make the script seem natural and funny. Set in the 70's a mismatched pair of private investigators are looking for a young girl possibly connected to a murder and cover-up. Heavily influenced by plenty of buddy movies and other genres, the party scene is like a less trippy version of The Big Lebowski, it still feels quite fresh. Full of action, laughter and a slightly shaky plot this is a fun, likeable movie that gets better the more you watch it.



Like This Watch These: Lethal Weapon (1987) One of the original cop/buddy films, Midnight Run (1988) An oft forgotten very funny Robert De Niro comedy, Hollywood Homicide (2003) An odd but gently amusing Harrison Ford project.

5 Colourful Films To Celebrate Holi

1. The Fall (2006) - Fantastical story brought to life with vibrant bursts of colour.
2. The Wizard of Oz (1939) - The change from black & white to technicolour is glorious.
3. The Fifth Element (1997) - Leeloo's iconic orange hair - Supergreen!
4. Amelie (2001) - Whimsical and bright.
5. Finding Nemo (2003) - Beautiful underwater delights.

Lush old cinema in Key west, Florida now sadly a Walgreens.

Masterminds (2016)

Considering the multitude of comedic actors this should work better, instead you get some very funny  lone performances. Jason Sudeikis is priceless as a complex assassin and Kate McKinnon steals every scene as the weirdo girlfriend and Zach Galifianakis always works for me. Based on the '97 Loomis Fargo robbery in the U.S. some southern hicks steal 17 million dollars, impressive when they come across as inept, poorly dressed idiots. Amusing but not laugh out loud, maybe the filmmakers held back a little as the real life robber David Ghantt consulted on the film.



Like This Watch These: Saturday Night Live (1975-?) (TV)Great comedians doing usually funny sketches, Due Date (2010) Zach annoys the f**k out of Robert Downey Jr, Tommy Boy (1995) Really funny and stupid road movie with more SNL alumni.

For The Love Of Spock (2016)

A very honest and loving documentary from a son to his father who just happens to be the legendary Leonard Nimoy, this delves into the man himself and the iconic Spock. This doesn't shy away from reality examining the sometimes strained and difficult relationship between Adam Nimoy and his Dad. Littered with stars telling stories of a generous and kind co-worker this balances out the man and the myth. Ultimately a touching tribute to a influential actor, noble man and active father. A must see for all sci-fi fans and especially trekkies, Live long and prosper.


Like This Watch These: Star Trek (2009) An respectful reboot with the man himself, Stories We Tell (2012) (Doc) Family secrets unveiled, Star Trek (1966) (TV) The original and in some ways the best.

A Single Man (2009)

MUST WATCH An absolute feast for the eyes it is no surprise this is directed (stunningly) by fashion designer Tom Ford, this will have you longing for the effortless allure of the sixties. Everyone and everything drips with lust it makes you salivate, this melancholic story of losing a loved one and what to do next balances the sadness with excess beauty. Career best Colin Firth should have got the oscar for this, you forget it is him and the entire cast are gorgeous, believable and graceful. I have nothing bad to say about this i love it, it reminds me why i love this visual medium so much.


Like This Watch These: Nocturnal Animals (2016) Ford's not as good follow up beautiful but harrowing, Jackie (2016) Beautiful 60's biopic, An Education (2009) Coming of age in 1960's London.

Spies Like Us (1985)

I don't know if you can enjoy 80's comedies in the same way as someone who was alive then, the best ones yes but the average ones are trickier. I was alive then so they usually tickle me and this is no exception. A fun, gentle comedy about two inept government workers who are fooled into thinking they are spies, they are instead decoys. Witty one liners, slapstick and deadpan retorts from Aykroyd and Chase both masters of their craft, move the silly plot along easily with Landis directing it all gels well. Littered with wonderful cameos, look out for two young directors to be, this isn't the best but it'll do for a duvet day.


Like This Watch These: Three Amigos! (1986) 3 comedy greats playing at heroes, The Great Outdoors (1988) Hilarious Candy and Aykroyd face bears, Caddyshack (1980) Perfect silliness at a golf club.

War On Everyone (2016)

There is nice chemistry between Michael Pena (who is always tremendous) and Alexander Skarsgard as these two corrupt but funny cops, unfortunately that's the only thing that really works here. This dark buddy comedy is funny but the plot is wafer thin and when it comes to getting the bad guy it seems all too easy. Some very amusing scenes with Pena's family, especially the kids and some subtle one liners make it worth your time. The writer/director John Michael McDonagh's previous two films were much better though, and in comparison this is left wanting.



Like This Watch These: Calvary (2014) Funny and sad, Brendan Gleeson shines as a threatened Priest, The Guard (2011) Gleeson again as policeman partnered with an uptight F.B.I. agent, Dragnet (1987) One of the best buddy cop movies ever.

Clouds Of Sils Maria (2014)

An All about eve-esque story that takes you deeper into the themes of vanity, jealousy, aging, the past and present, fame and fortune, love and hate it's all here and more. There is breathtaking scenery in this crisp, clean but not cold drama which aids the story in a quite beautiful if melancholy way. Juliette Binoche plays a film star asked to play the older role in a play that made her famous as the younger role, this kickstarts some serious self analysing. Although this is a serious film it is light and not downbeat at all even during sad moments it is more about thinking than feeling. The three lead females are really good, Binoche always terrific, Chloe Grace-Moretz against type and fresh, Kristen Stewart is a revelation not at all irritating and almost likeable.


Like This Watch These: All About Eve (1951) Classic in which Bette Davis is being pushed out by a younger actress, Personal Shopper (2017) Released soon, same star same director should be good, Opening night (1977) Gena Rowlands aging actress directed by hubby John Cassavetes.